Episode 1: All You Need is Blood & Virgin Zombie

Welcome to the inaugural episode of The Vigilante Cannibal Nun as Agony Aunt, a fictional, comedy, horror and SCI FI podcast. Each week, The Vigilante Cannibal Nun, live from limbo as the living dead - after rampaging Ireland as a vigilante cannibal and eating the colonisers during The Famine - reads two letters from her emotionally ill-fettered listeners, salivates over their problems, and vomits up solutions, at their expense and for everyone else’s pleasure. Victims send their letters to The Vigilante Cannibal Nun from across time and space, cutting through all categories of Horror and SCI FI genres.

Her first letter is called "All You Need is Blood" from Bloodbath Berta, Vienna circa 1975. She laments the loss of her crazy bat eating artist boyfriend who would only sleep underneath a butchered hedgehog slaughtered with his own teeth at the dawn of an equinox that he kept in his pocket. She asks where she can find another man like him.

Her second letter is called "Virgin Zombie" from Sarah, an American College Student circa 1968. Sarah has fallen in love with a zombie, and is in fact one herself, after he ate her leg. She is happy in the relationship but can no longer walk. She asks The Vigilante Cannibal Nun for suggestions on moving forward.

The Vigilante Cannibal Nun gives them both advice before telling us about next week's podcast episode called "Turn Left, You Bastard" about a woman who has fallen in love with her sat nav; and "Don't Touch The Nylon" about a woman who has fallen for a man who is always on the cusp of murdering her, whilst wearing American Tan tights on his head.

REFERENCES:

GHOULS ON FILM - https://www.ghoulsonfilmbelfast.com

VIENNESE ACTIONISM - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viennese_Actionism

WHO AM I? by Snoop Dogg - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2soGJXQAQec

KNEECAP – https://www.kneecap.ie

FATHER TED Comedy TV Series - https://www.channel4.com/programmes/father-ted

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD by George A. Romero - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0063350/

IT’S ALRIGHT, MA (I’M ONLY BLEEDING) by Bob Dylan - https://www.bobdylan.com/songs/its-alright-ma-im-only-bleeding/